Parenting 101 - The Missing Chapters
Below are the Chapters that I did NOT find in any of my parenting manuals! Add your favorite "missing chapters" to mine and between all of us we may actually get 90% of the parenting trials and tribulations covered. But I doubt it.
Chapter 1 - Calling 911 The First Time - An idiot's guide to bloody noses.
Chapter 2 - Help! I'm crying on the bathroom floor because my 3 and a half year old has pooped his "big boy" pants for the 5th time today and I can't get up.
Chapter 3 - How to look cool after your child projectile vomits in a motorcycle showroom
Chapter 4 - Pervert, Pedophile or just "Nice old man" - You get to be the judge!
Chapter 5 - "My Tummy Hurts" the on-going affliction of pre-pubescent girls and it's possible origins
Chapter 6 - Corn is NOT a vegetable and chocolate muffins are really just cake. Really!
Chapter 7 - Never Leash The Dog to The Stroller and other obvious no-no's.
Chapter 8 - Cartwheels do not break arms - cheerleaders do!
Chapter 9 - Where did you learn THAT?! The Painful Truth.
Chapter 10 - That knot in your stomach is permanent at least until your children reach puberty, then it becomes a migraine. (Actually that's not just a chapter title, that's the entire chapter.)
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