"If you dissect the word (response-ability), you find it really means "the ability to respond." How we choose our responses is what we'll continue to attract, create and become. To think that your life will be challenge free is illusion. Challenges are the way we test how much we have or have not developed our ability to respond." -James Ray
In this holiday season the challenges are many;, the challenge to budget just the right amount for gifts and then to find the "perfect" gift for each person on our list. Then there is the challenge to fit in all the parties, year-end appointments, and the additional pressure we put on yourself to complete these tasks in a short amount of time. Remember, those are just the added challenges of the last quarter of the year; you're also still juggling the challenges of relationships, parenthood, work responsibilities and financial stability, aging relatives, housework or homework, bad weather or bad tempers, keeping the faith or keeping up with the times...
So today, I challenge you, to take just a moment and renew your sense of self, and your ability to respond to the challenges and pressures in a way that doesn't push against the tide of your life, but rides on the waves in a gentle, peaceful and accepting way that reaffirms that you will reach the shore just when you should. Remember, pushing ahead harder than the waves are rolling only pulls you under, and drowns your ability to respond in a positive or accepting way.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you just might find, you get what you need - oh yeah!
I have sung this lyric to my children since they were 2 years old...but did I really think about how it applied to me? Not until tonight...
Of course what we all want are guarantees and reassurances that everything is going to turn out exactly like we want it to. I'm a control freak when it comes to trying to make sure that happens, not just for me, but for others around me as well. Because deep down I want everybody (including me) to be happy. I KNOW it's not possible to please everyone, but just every once in a while I am given the opportunity to "do the right thing", and tonight was one of those nights.
I had two birthday parties to attend, both for beautiful girls with the biggest personalities and the biggest hearts to match. I did not want to disappoint either one of them, but I also wasn't in much of a partying mood.
Suffice it to say, I put on my best party duds, pulled off a logistical feat of juggling kids and parties, and had a great time doing it. Both of these women were so appreciative of my appearances at their parties, I felt a little guilty about how little effort it actually took. And now I feel a bit sad that I wasn't able to spend more time at these parties; there were amazing and interesting people at both that I would to have loved spending more time with. I've opened my heart and my mind in ways I never saw myself doing, and in doing so, everyday I feel like it's MY birthday. Giving IS better than receiving!
However, that said, receiving is nice too and I have been blessed in the past week or so with the absolute kindest and most complimentary words from my friends. I've been trying this year to be more honest and open and approachable and positive and I guess I have been and I got my reward in these words "You make people feel good just to be around you." WOW! Is that the most amazing compliment ever or what?! So I don't always get what I want. But thanks to my friends, I get what I need.
Happy Birthday!
I have sung this lyric to my children since they were 2 years old...but did I really think about how it applied to me? Not until tonight...
Of course what we all want are guarantees and reassurances that everything is going to turn out exactly like we want it to. I'm a control freak when it comes to trying to make sure that happens, not just for me, but for others around me as well. Because deep down I want everybody (including me) to be happy. I KNOW it's not possible to please everyone, but just every once in a while I am given the opportunity to "do the right thing", and tonight was one of those nights.
I had two birthday parties to attend, both for beautiful girls with the biggest personalities and the biggest hearts to match. I did not want to disappoint either one of them, but I also wasn't in much of a partying mood.
Suffice it to say, I put on my best party duds, pulled off a logistical feat of juggling kids and parties, and had a great time doing it. Both of these women were so appreciative of my appearances at their parties, I felt a little guilty about how little effort it actually took. And now I feel a bit sad that I wasn't able to spend more time at these parties; there were amazing and interesting people at both that I would to have loved spending more time with. I've opened my heart and my mind in ways I never saw myself doing, and in doing so, everyday I feel like it's MY birthday. Giving IS better than receiving!
However, that said, receiving is nice too and I have been blessed in the past week or so with the absolute kindest and most complimentary words from my friends. I've been trying this year to be more honest and open and approachable and positive and I guess I have been and I got my reward in these words "You make people feel good just to be around you." WOW! Is that the most amazing compliment ever or what?! So I don't always get what I want. But thanks to my friends, I get what I need.
Happy Birthday!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Perception
I had the ultimate "Pity Party of One, Your Table is Ready" night last night...
Like many of you, I am a bit stressed and financially strapped (yes, that's a friggin' understatement). Also, I was worrying about my daughter's surgery today (just a minor procedure to have some hardware removed), Christmas has felt like that dream where you step out in front of an on-coming bus and you can't get back to the sidewalk fast enough, and to top it off I was PMSing to the point of non-stop-for-no-discernible-reason-uncontrollable tears. SOOO, I brilliantly decided to stay up WAY too late, watch TIVO'd re-runs of Rock of Love Charm School (as if they weren't informative enough the first time around ;), AND, at 12:15am have myself a big ol' bowl of pasta, and 2 very large glasses of wine, followed by an even larger bowl of Dulce de Leche Ice Cream!
This afternoon I am patting my squishy, bloated, soft white underbelly, and feeling very lethargic. Yet, I am counting my blessings and the world seems like a much kinder place. Yes, I'm still broke and underemployed, BUT my daughter's surgery went fantastically, the PMS has ebbed into exhaustion and, so what if there are still Christmas presents to be wrapped and mailed? I'm putting on that damn Santa hat and listening to Burl Ives til it's done! And tonight, with my 2 medium glasses of wine, I believe I'll have a salad with fat-free dressing and watch It's a Wonderful Life. (Okay, truthfully. I really don't care for that movie, but it fit the theme.) You get my drift: My, how 24 hours can change your outlook!
So the moral of the story is, when life gets tough...just hang in there! Whatever it takes; be it a late night fatty fest, or prayer, or a gentle reminder that things could be worse, everything eventually turns around. Love and peace to you all.
Like many of you, I am a bit stressed and financially strapped (yes, that's a friggin' understatement). Also, I was worrying about my daughter's surgery today (just a minor procedure to have some hardware removed), Christmas has felt like that dream where you step out in front of an on-coming bus and you can't get back to the sidewalk fast enough, and to top it off I was PMSing to the point of non-stop-for-no-discernible-reason-uncontrollable tears. SOOO, I brilliantly decided to stay up WAY too late, watch TIVO'd re-runs of Rock of Love Charm School (as if they weren't informative enough the first time around ;), AND, at 12:15am have myself a big ol' bowl of pasta, and 2 very large glasses of wine, followed by an even larger bowl of Dulce de Leche Ice Cream!
This afternoon I am patting my squishy, bloated, soft white underbelly, and feeling very lethargic. Yet, I am counting my blessings and the world seems like a much kinder place. Yes, I'm still broke and underemployed, BUT my daughter's surgery went fantastically, the PMS has ebbed into exhaustion and, so what if there are still Christmas presents to be wrapped and mailed? I'm putting on that damn Santa hat and listening to Burl Ives til it's done! And tonight, with my 2 medium glasses of wine, I believe I'll have a salad with fat-free dressing and watch It's a Wonderful Life. (Okay, truthfully. I really don't care for that movie, but it fit the theme.) You get my drift: My, how 24 hours can change your outlook!
So the moral of the story is, when life gets tough...just hang in there! Whatever it takes; be it a late night fatty fest, or prayer, or a gentle reminder that things could be worse, everything eventually turns around. Love and peace to you all.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Changing and Changes
I have a theory about why men are less adaptable to change than women and it's pretty basic: Females must be born with a genetic pre-disposition to better accept change. How would we ever survive everything our bodies and our minds go through through-out our lifespan if we weren't?
The first radical changes we experience happen the minute we hit puberty - We become emotionally unreasonable and don't know why -- One day we're happily playing Barbies, the next day, we're holding Ken's head under water in the sink and screaming "You Don't Understand Me!". We grow boobs, and have hair that requires shaving, and we start menustrating (which at first is extremely painful and scary but then we realize we will live through it and not only that, but we're going to have to live through it every 28 days for the rest of our freakin' lives, but it's still extremely painful).
Boys grow some hair. And their voice changes. Big whoop.
Next, young women marry and CHANGE THEIR NAME. Which is essentially a major shift in how you identify yourself and how you are identified by others. Please, who's idea was this? This symbolic change takes you from Miss "Hi, I'm young, cute, and available", instantly to "Even if you did think for a minute that I might be available you now have noticed my comfortable shoes and wedding band so don't even think about looking my way buster, I'm Mrs. PUT_HIS_NAME_HERE."
The next, and by far, the most radical change women experience is pregnancy and childbirth; I will spare you the gory details about the mental and physical changes that kind of hormonal volcano causes! There is a good reason our brain fails to recall the exact minute we felt our insides violently exit our bodies (yet another useful genetic miracle). But again, we women adapt, move on, and USUALLY do it again!
Many of us will then choose to make a change from successfully Employed career woman to Employer of any tactic necessary to get the kids to eat their veggies, keep their shoes tied, wipe their nose someplace other than your shoulder, and get homework done before dinnertime! With any luck, your former employment experience will have provided you with some skills you can carry over into your new position as the receptacle of all bodily fluids put forth by your children, but I doubt it.
What follows, when you've given up all hope of ever wearing designer jeans and silk blouses again, is a few good, mostly-stable years followed shortly thereafter by "THE CHANGE". Yes, before you know it, the kids are still hiding their peas in the vents and tripping over their shoelaces while you're sweating from your eyelids and frantically fanning your face! Menopause! Talk about a freakin' mind blower...Things (and I mean things you never even thought of) "shift" i.e. lower, stretch, shrink, wrinkle, etcetera. Moods play Nationals Finals Ping-Pong, hair thins, and turns grey e v e r y w h e r e! Supposedly, thankfully, you are finally free from your once a month unwelcome visitor...which is a great notion, but actually takes it's own sweet time to finally cease and desist once and for all, whilst you continue to ache, break, and fake it for the next oh, 10 or 15 years.
Guys lose some hair. Big whoop. I think that's why guys tend to freak out more than women during their late 40's early 50's - His 'changes' are discovered suddenly one morning, as he wipes the steam from the mirror, puts the comb to the top of his head and thinks to himself "Hey, what's my Dad doing in my bathroom? Oh My God! That's not my Dad - That's ME!" Suddenly there's no hiding the fact that he's not 20 anymore, no matter how often he goes to the gym or touches up with Grecian Formula, the young girls that once giggled at his bad jokes don't anymore, and besides he wouldn't have the desire or energy to do anything about it if one did happen to give him that "special glance"! I'm not being insincere or facetious here, no, I think I really am starting to understand the whole "mid-life crisis" phenomenon.
Holy Heck! By now we women have been dealing with freaky mutant body & mind snatching changes our entire adult life. Really! I believe that if women weren't programmed to adjust to radical changes from the moment of birth, mating and reproduction would cease to exist in humanity. So the happy by-product of our adaptability to these major life/body/emotional changes is being able to accept, and yes, even embrace, change! Because really, by the time our kids are in college, let's face it, we are READY for anything!!
The first radical changes we experience happen the minute we hit puberty - We become emotionally unreasonable and don't know why -- One day we're happily playing Barbies, the next day, we're holding Ken's head under water in the sink and screaming "You Don't Understand Me!". We grow boobs, and have hair that requires shaving, and we start menustrating (which at first is extremely painful and scary but then we realize we will live through it and not only that, but we're going to have to live through it every 28 days for the rest of our freakin' lives, but it's still extremely painful).
Boys grow some hair. And their voice changes. Big whoop.
Next, young women marry and CHANGE THEIR NAME. Which is essentially a major shift in how you identify yourself and how you are identified by others. Please, who's idea was this? This symbolic change takes you from Miss "Hi, I'm young, cute, and available", instantly to "Even if you did think for a minute that I might be available you now have noticed my comfortable shoes and wedding band so don't even think about looking my way buster, I'm Mrs. PUT_HIS_NAME_HERE."
The next, and by far, the most radical change women experience is pregnancy and childbirth; I will spare you the gory details about the mental and physical changes that kind of hormonal volcano causes! There is a good reason our brain fails to recall the exact minute we felt our insides violently exit our bodies (yet another useful genetic miracle). But again, we women adapt, move on, and USUALLY do it again!
Many of us will then choose to make a change from successfully Employed career woman to Employer of any tactic necessary to get the kids to eat their veggies, keep their shoes tied, wipe their nose someplace other than your shoulder, and get homework done before dinnertime! With any luck, your former employment experience will have provided you with some skills you can carry over into your new position as the receptacle of all bodily fluids put forth by your children, but I doubt it.
What follows, when you've given up all hope of ever wearing designer jeans and silk blouses again, is a few good, mostly-stable years followed shortly thereafter by "THE CHANGE". Yes, before you know it, the kids are still hiding their peas in the vents and tripping over their shoelaces while you're sweating from your eyelids and frantically fanning your face! Menopause! Talk about a freakin' mind blower...Things (and I mean things you never even thought of) "shift" i.e. lower, stretch, shrink, wrinkle, etcetera. Moods play Nationals Finals Ping-Pong, hair thins, and turns grey e v e r y w h e r e! Supposedly, thankfully, you are finally free from your once a month unwelcome visitor...which is a great notion, but actually takes it's own sweet time to finally cease and desist once and for all, whilst you continue to ache, break, and fake it for the next oh, 10 or 15 years.
Guys lose some hair. Big whoop. I think that's why guys tend to freak out more than women during their late 40's early 50's - His 'changes' are discovered suddenly one morning, as he wipes the steam from the mirror, puts the comb to the top of his head and thinks to himself "Hey, what's my Dad doing in my bathroom? Oh My God! That's not my Dad - That's ME!" Suddenly there's no hiding the fact that he's not 20 anymore, no matter how often he goes to the gym or touches up with Grecian Formula, the young girls that once giggled at his bad jokes don't anymore, and besides he wouldn't have the desire or energy to do anything about it if one did happen to give him that "special glance"! I'm not being insincere or facetious here, no, I think I really am starting to understand the whole "mid-life crisis" phenomenon.
Holy Heck! By now we women have been dealing with freaky mutant body & mind snatching changes our entire adult life. Really! I believe that if women weren't programmed to adjust to radical changes from the moment of birth, mating and reproduction would cease to exist in humanity. So the happy by-product of our adaptability to these major life/body/emotional changes is being able to accept, and yes, even embrace, change! Because really, by the time our kids are in college, let's face it, we are READY for anything!!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Yes Virginia
Well it's here. The year when I get called out by my own kids for lying to them about Santa Claus. Aaron is 12 and Katie is 10 - come to think of it, I'm sure they have known for a long time or at least been very suspicious. My kids are SO smart! And to be honest I haven't been a very good liar. But then I haven't tried to be. I don't get the whole thing really. And maybe that's just because I was the oldest child and therefore knew first, before either of my siblings, that Santa was just a nice guy dressed up in a red suit to make kids happy. Well the only experience Aaron ever had with sitting on Santa's lap he, of course, let out that horror-film scream and NEVER has liked any costumed characters ever since! The real blessing in all of this is that I have not since had to wait in a never-ending line to pay $40 bucks for a picture of my horrified children sitting on the lap of man wearing an over-stuffed pillow tucked under a plastic belt and red coat with an itchy fake beard, trying to remain calm and sweet while the mothers in line primp their little sweethearts for the perfect annual "Picture with Santa". My kids could care less about telling a shopping mall santa their Christmas wish.
I am NOT capping on shopping mall Santas. I think any grown man (who is not a pedophile) that dresses up in that horrible suit and sits in a big uncomfortable chair holding hundreds of small wiggly, sometimes moist, sometimes very unhappy kids in his lap, while trying to remain jolly and sweet, should get hazard pay! So while Santa is just a regular guy in a costume, that regular guy goes to great lengths to sustain the possibility that miracles do happen; a fat guy can fit down a chimney, reindeers can fly, whispered wishes are fulfilled.
My kids have been told "You have to believe, to receive". And while my kids aren't fooled by the HO HO HO (really? who laughs like that?) they do BELIEVE. They believe in the spirit of Santa and the real wishes and dreams of boys and girls that Christmastime can help make come true for them. They BELIEVE in giving to others that are less fortunate, they BELIEVE they have the greatest family and best life ever and they BELIEVE they can help make someone's wishes come true too. That is really the Magic!
Long Live Santa!
I am NOT capping on shopping mall Santas. I think any grown man (who is not a pedophile) that dresses up in that horrible suit and sits in a big uncomfortable chair holding hundreds of small wiggly, sometimes moist, sometimes very unhappy kids in his lap, while trying to remain jolly and sweet, should get hazard pay! So while Santa is just a regular guy in a costume, that regular guy goes to great lengths to sustain the possibility that miracles do happen; a fat guy can fit down a chimney, reindeers can fly, whispered wishes are fulfilled.
My kids have been told "You have to believe, to receive". And while my kids aren't fooled by the HO HO HO (really? who laughs like that?) they do BELIEVE. They believe in the spirit of Santa and the real wishes and dreams of boys and girls that Christmastime can help make come true for them. They BELIEVE in giving to others that are less fortunate, they BELIEVE they have the greatest family and best life ever and they BELIEVE they can help make someone's wishes come true too. That is really the Magic!
Long Live Santa!
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